How To Deal With Parents Who Refuse Care

senior-man-with-care-assistantYou might have a loved one who refuses help, despite the fact that she has soiled clothes and remains unwashed. You may have a frail father who should not even be looking at a car anymore, but refuses to stop driving, and in-home helpers have no chance with your mom….simply put, you might have a parent or loved one who refuses care.

While it sounds exceedingly frustrating, you are certainly not alone in this situation. Pushing someone harder is only going to aggravate him or her more, which means that they might be all the more stubborn about their refusal. Instead of just giving up (or pushing through), these are some strategies that you can use to overcome their objections.

Begin The Discussion Early

The time to start talking about handling a crisis is not DURING a crisis. You might want to start before it ever becomes a problem. Ask them how they would feel about having a housekeeper (just a few times a week) or how they see themselves managing their lives when they get older.

The Importance Of Being Patient

You want to give your loved one time plenty of time to answer your questions, and you want to make your questions open ended. These conversations are prone to tangents and they may become repetitive, but it is the best way to ensure that your loved one opens up about their own experiences.

Make Sure To Offer Options

No one likes being told that there is a problem, without being offered a solution to the problem. Your loved one is going to want to feel as though he or she is included in the decision-making process if something needs to change. You can do so by offering options related to times of the day, actual days, or other factors. By making someone feel included, you are ensuring that they become less headstrong.

Being Indirect Can Help

If your parent is struggling with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, it can be more effective to offer less information at times. You might just tell your parent that someone is going to come help them with meals or by going on walks. You do not need to explain the entire concept of having someone care for them. This is going to allow the relationship to form slowly, often leading to our loved one feeling far less threatened.

Accept That There Are Limitations

Remember that it is important for your loved one to make his or her own choices (as long as they are not endangering someone). You cannot continuously monitor what they are doing, you cannot prevent bad things from happening. This is an important factor in keeping your sanity.

If you have a loved one who cannot live by themselves anymore, it might be a good idea to start looking at some of the different options. Visit and find out what options might be available to you.

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